morning view

Its 5 and I just got back from watching Simpsons The Movie and yet another night spent in Ac foosing, and watching the blur masses of people as they come and go, surrounded by dampened noises of some simple plan back ground music being played, giggling girls, macho macha's ramblings laced with pool balls colliding and the ping and pangs of the foos balls hitting the metal back panel signifying a goal scored and often accompanied with cheers, laughters and trash talk there after. I watched as the water vapors swirled around my cold coke can in my hand then i smiled cause it reminds me of a certain Mr A-Z ' I can save you from unoriginal dum-dums who wouldn't care if you commm-plete them or not, So while I got a short attention span with a coke in my hand, because i rather have the afternoon relax and understand.." and then i snap back and made a mental note, 'you drift away from reality too much this shit gotta stop happening'. I guess despite the masses of people and the high decibels of volume the roaming 'chun chicks' were all still not interesting enough for me, in spite of the 'happening-ness'
I'm retarded I think. Jarren'd agree in a heart beat I know. Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send? do they bend do they break from the flight that they take, and come back together again with a whole new meaning to the matter of our love's defense at least be sympathetics to the time i spent'. =] someone once told me 'regurgitating lyrics won't do'...

I'm floating down a river
Oars freed from their holes long ago
Lying face up on the floor of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
And feel my heart overflow

Further down the river

Two weeks without my lover
I'm in this boat alone
Floating down a river named emotion
Will I make it back to shore
Or drift into the unknown

Further down the river

I'm building an antenna
Transmissions will be sent when I am through
Maybe we'll meet again further down the river
And share what we both discovered...
Then revel in the view

Further down the river
words by- Incubus

alone i break

it's actually quite amusingly ironic that I'm posting lyrics by Korn some of you may know why but,yeah im dead tired to cerita why rite now so, maybe some other time.so yeah..

Pick me up
been bleeding too long
Right here, right now
I'll stop it some how

I will make it go away
can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
these feelings will be gone
these feelings will be gone

Now I see the times they change
leaving doesn't seems so strange
I am hoping I can find
where to leave my hurt behind
All this shit I seem to take
all alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?

Shut me off
I am ready,
Heart stops
I stand alone
Can't be on my own

Am I going to leave this place?
What is it I'm running from?
is there nothing more to come? (am I Gunna leave this place?)
Is it always black in space?
Am I going to take it's place?
Am I going to leave this race? (Am I going to leave this race?)
I guess god's up in this place?
what is it that I've become?
is there something more to come? (more to come)

words by - Korn

bodies

Cast the pearls aside, of a simple life of need
Come into my life forever
The crumbled cities stand as known
Of the sights you have been shown
Of the hurt you call your own
Love is suicide

The empty bodies stand at rest
Casualties of their own flesh
Afflicted by their dispossession
But no bodies ever knew
Nobodys
No bodies felt like you
Nobodys
Love is suicide

Now we drive the night, to the ironies of peace
You can't help deny forever
The tragedies reside in you
The secret sights hide in you
The lonely nights divide you in two
All my blisters now revealed
In the darkness of my dreams
In the spaces in between us
But no bodies ever knew
Nobodys
No bodies felt like you
Nobodys
Love is suicide
words by- Smashing Pumpkins

forgive my indecision

Eyesuckink.com has been updated and now has a new layout , a cleaner one but more importantly there are tons of new artwork uploaded, i don't know why but i love Alex Pardee's work and always feel i can relate to it somehow even thought most of his work doesn't mean anything and is pretty twisted and abstract , Maybe its just the mood you get it's just so emotionally charged. Someone once told me ' i see the other side in your drawings, i see softer side in it despite of how twisted it looks, i don't know why', i guess thats about what I'd say about alex's work seeing i pretty much rip off him most of the time.



speaking of which this just happened to play while i was writing and i could not at any point of my life remember not relating to this song, i'm sure alot of people knows this one and feels the same way too. brilliant Brandon Byod, btw did you know Brandon Byod practices lucid dreaming? Wicked stuff probably where he draws inspiration from. I only ever remember having one once, i hardly get any dreams. Hey to think about it Alex Pardee says alot of his drawings are based on his dreams too, hmm. Anyways..

seven a.m.,
the garbage truck beeps as it backs up
and I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away.
Could I push rewind?
The credits traverse signifying the end but I missed the best part.
Could we please go back to start?

Forgive my indecision

Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side.
But then again, a day will come when I want off that ride.

eleven a.m.,
by now you would think that I would be up
but my bedsheets shade the heat of choices I've made.
And what did I find?
I never thought I could want someone so much
'cause now you're not here and I'm knee deep in
that old fear.

Forgive my indecision,I am only a man

Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side.
But then again, a day will come when I want off that ride.

Twelve pm and my dusty telephone rings.
Heavy head up from my pillow, who could it be?
I hope it's you.

words by - Incubus

my stupid mouth

When I think about it i often question myself why I have the need to question everything. Not just everything to do with me even everything has next to no relation with me. Why do I bother with things I need not bother with why do i delve into things I don't really actually care for. Why am I even bothering to write this down, I need to vent i guess.

Other then that I also like to think or rather i don't think it i just act as though i know a lot or know better then people with no actual intention of illustrating such facts. If you tell me about something cool that i already know off and probably did some research on, chances are i'd tell you that there is something better, like for instance if you tell me how cool a new Nokia phone is and you plan to buy one,chances are I'd tell how much cooler an Iphone is and rant on about it giving you 57 reasons why the Iphone beats the Nokia phone so badly, which often times lead to people thinking I'm just trying to out-do them or down play what ever their views are on.

Well pardon me for sharing then, I'm absurd in that way i guess. When i beg to differ i guess i go way out to show people why. Which is a waste of effort and time most of the time cause people already would have made up their minds on their views and you can throw them 825001 reasons on why you're right plus a PB&J sandwich,you're still gonna be wrong no matter what, well I could be wrong 825001 over but at the end of the day the question is why bother? I'm tired of debating already, If I'm right and you're right who's wrong then?

'I'm never speaking up again it only hurts me'
'I rather be a mystery then she desert me'
'Oh I'm never speaking up again, starting now'
'One more thing'
'Why is it my fault?'
'So maybe I try too hard'
'But it's all because of this desire'
'I just wanna be liked'
'I just wanna be funny'
'Looks like the jokes on me'
'So call me captain backfire'
words by - John Mayer

hate me.

i have to block out thoughts of you
so i don’t lose my head
they crawl in like a cockroach
leaving babies in my bed

dropping little reels of tape
to remind me that i’m alone
playing movies in my head
that make a porno feel like home

there's a burning in my pride
a nervous bleeding in my brain
an ounce of peace is all i want for you
will you never call again

and will you never say that you loved me just to put it in my face
and will you never try to reach me it is i that wanted space

hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you

hate me in ways
yea ways hard to swallow
hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

i’m sober now for three whole months
it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
the one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing i wont touch again

in my sick way i want to thank you
for holding my head up late at night
while i was busy waging wars on myself
you were trying to stop the fight

you never doubted my warped opinions
on things like suicidal hate
you made me compliment myself
when it was way to hard to take

so i’ll drive so fucking far away
that i never cross your mind
and do whatever it takes in your heart
to leave me behind

hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things i didn’t do for you

hate me in ways
yea ways hard to swallow
hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

with a sad heart i say bye to you and wave
kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that i had made
and like a baby boy i never was a man
until i saw your blue eyes cry and i held your face in my hand

and then i fell down yelling make it go away
just make her smile come back and shine just like it use to be
and then she whispered how can you do this to me

words by - Blue October.

cherry waves

due to inability to ever do work early there is figures,figures and figures again. =]
by the way Project bazooka's penang invasion at laundrybar was wicked, sadly the crowd there was, less then rock savvy i guess. Wish i could have spent more time with Zhuiie tho, it's okay we'll hang out more when the girl comes back for the summer holls. so, in conclusion. I say in conclusion cause thats the only thing i remember from high school about writing. anyways as always ill leave you with.


In a sea of waves
We hug the same plank
Just as I had rehearsed it over in my brain
(I saw your end)

If the waves suck you in, and you drown

If like you should sink down beneath
I'll swim down. Would you? Would You?

You hang anchors over my neck
I liked it at first
But the more you you laughed, the crazier I came

And the waves suck you in, and you drown

If like you should sink down beneath

I'll swim way swim down. Would you?
Is that what you want?
You...
Well that's what you've got

Wave...after...wave...

If like you should sink down beneath, I'll swim down,
Would you?

Is that what you want?
With you
Is this what you want?
With you, you

Escape, below

words by - Deftones

Seven Shades of Black

I really wish i had a credit card and that I can afford all these awesome prints of Alex Pardee's art that everyone needs so they can hang in their room and hope one day to be just as good, or maybe just so it'd aid your emo-ness when you're all alone then you'd at least have something pretty to call your own. p.s: click on the image to get the full view of its crazy details in full glory

I'm on the street yeah
I want you
I'm looking for myself
I'm gonna make it
I'll take it
Like everybody else
Belle of the fawning
I'm yawning
Sister can't you spell
Above suspicion
Hey listen !
I'm digging my own hell
'Cause I want you bad, ah
'Cause I want you bad

And without peer
And without fear
I'm without anyone at all
I'm torn apart, decrying
How unjust you are
For busting
My black heart

'Cause you don't want me no more
But just you worry
'Cause when they scratch-scratch my door
You'll hurry
Ah 1, 2, 3

This gun is loaded, devoted
You postulate the rest
Riding the seesaw
There's no law
That I have ever met
I'm just a flat punk
On dead junk
Riding a vanguard
Cut from the vaunted
I'm haunted, till death do us part
'Cause I want you bad, ah
'Cause I want you bad

Fall in hate with me with one trick
You will want it all

The yeah-yeah tears
The now and here
The without anyone at all
I'm torn without
I'm crying out for doom

We are the lurking
The panzers
The black as coal as night
Stealing the stealthy
And stellar
Until we get it right
Notice the yearlings
The dead things
The pretty as you please
I am the regent, the marquis
Sowing my bad seeds
'Cause I want you bad, ah
'Cause I want you bad

Fall in hate with me with one trick
You will want it all
As St. Patrick pipes on!

words by - Smashing Pumpkins

great big white world

In space the stars are no nearer
Just glitters like a morgue
And I dreamed I was a spaceman
Burned like a moth in a flame
And our world was so fucking gone

I'm not attached to your world
Nothing heals and nothing grows

Because it's a great big white world
And we are drained of our colors
We used to love ourselves,
We used to love one another

All my stitches itch
My prescription's low,
I wish you were queen
Just for today

In a world so white what else could I say?

And hell was so cold
All the vases are so broken
And the roses tear our hands all open
Mother Marry miscarry
But we pray just like insects
And the world is so ugly now

words by- Marilyn Manson

zeitgeist

zeitgeist : The spirit of the time; the taste and outlook characteristic of a period or generation and also the newest album to be released by Smashing Pumpkins 7 years after the disband.

edit : review of the album to follow suit

a kiss to send us off

Boy, it's been hard to find time to write these days with Ray moving in, rushing to get work done and what not. Well at least at this point I've got most of the stuff that needs sorting out sorted out :B , ill add to this post when I've got the time,still have a bit on my hands to get done , so ill just fill you in on whats hitting my ears lately as I've done so in the past few posts.

Meet me here
On November 11th, come alone.
Bring your mouth
& selective irreverence
we’ll both see stars. Just…
one more tongue kiss before the sky it falls
out from this cloud we’re hovering on!
(A kiss to send us off! A kiss to send us off! A kiss to send us off!)

Kill your doubt
With the coldest of weapons; confidence.
No more words
just the sound of resplendent
tongues colliding.
One more tongue kiss before the sky it falls
out from this cloud we’re hovering on!

Here I am
there you are
a wire connecting our hearts
there’s a string
that is tied
to a kite.
There’s a storm
in the sky
now the clouds become electric.
Here I am
there you are.
Could I…
Have a…
Kiss to send us off? A Kiss to send us off! A kiss to send us off!

words by - Incubus

i don't know

Today they asked me, "why do you always seem to fight?"
But though I could not answer I'd have lost my way
And I could tell that this ain't right
The morning sunrise seemed to ask me why I tried
To find the strength in people who had never thought about a different way of life
It just doesn't seem that easy

I don't know where to go
I don't know what to be
I don't know how to change from being me
I don't know what to say
Maybe another day
I'll stop getting lost and find my way, home
All I know is gone...

But the storms I've weathered, you know they don't seem to be as bad
If you think there's hope from here and there's a life you should now have
I don't have answers and no questions spring to mind
So here I've ended up now, there's no more signs and the roads are blocked
All night...
It just doesn't seem that easy

one day, one room.

life is a series of rooms, who we get stuck in those rooms with adds up to what our life's are

smother me

i've finally got my hands on the new The Used albumn ive been waiting for ever for.
it's blowing my mind as much as the first and second one did
ill write a review of Lies For the Lairs soon when i get a few run trough's with it
but in the mean time..

The way I broke your heart very literally
This ghost haunts me more than it should be
I'm not gonna walk away or turn my head in shame
I never thought it could kill me

A clean slate, one more day further away

Just let me make some time to take it back a little
The way you smile shines the heavens above me
Never going to let you go, I want you all the time
I gotta prove you can trust me

I want you, You don't want me
My mistake for wasting yours and mine
I want you but will you stay with me today

I need you, you don't need me
When you are low, I am not okay
I want you but will you stay with me today?
words by- The Used