simple things

So after days without the Internet I'm back, it's in this time I've learn to realize how we often times take simple things like these for granted, being off the Internet for just a few days felt like crap, felt like a week instead of just a few days, every time i think of something i wanna do i realize i need the damn Internet to do it, damn it's frustrating like ants crawling over your face when you're trying to sleep.

I remember, I used to pay a lot of attention to the finer details in life, wonder where has that boy gone,I used to take notice of all the little things in life that makes me smile and I'd savour it, like the smell of coffee in the morning, or the warmth of the water from the shower head running down my spine as I lose my way with thoughts of yesterday's feelings and tomorrow's bringings as the rest of the world for that brief moment dissolves away down the drain. Have you ever felt, empty, like there is a void inside of you , like something is missing but you cant figure out what, chances are its a simple thing in life you've taken for granted and maybe even forgotten about.

So much has been taken for granted, i cant begin to understand how I've come to develop this negligence. My biggest crime would probably be the fact that I've taken so much time for granted. I hate being inactive and idle, I often get preoccupied with heavy thoughts that shackles me and pull me deep into darker areas of my brains that I've often shy away from and i drown to the sound of regrets and choke on emotions I thought I've buried but know deep inside surely it'd have to surface time and time again and dread it when it does, all these while i lie in bed to the flurry of heavy guitar distortion, echoing screams and rapid drum beats , or maybe that's my heart pounding they seem hard to tell apart sometimes,why do I spend endless hours lying awake asking questions I can never find the answers to by myself, just to finally submit to slumber and wake up the next day none the wiser, with just as many questions unanswered.


I feel like i can relate to this painting now, i don't know why cause it doesn't make much sense to me either, maybe its just the way how the guy is in a hellishly gloomy place that i relate to my room and seem to be detached to everything around him. Or i just feel spineless lately.





"Lost again"
"Broken and weary "
"Unable to find my way"
"Tail in hand"
"Dizzy and clearly unable to"
"Just let this go"

"I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown"
"Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun"
"I choose to live"
-words by A Perfect Circle